Plagued with nightmares, she arises early one morning, says a prayer by candlelight, and goes downstairs for a cup of tea and to quietly reflect on recent events. At this moment, we flashback to a worship service at her church. In a moment of frustration, she storms out, and is followed by a friend who confronts her and reminds her that doubt, in and of itself, is not a bad thing.
Questions are necessary. Our protagonist is a seeker, who has finally seen past the mask that she has been forced to wear for so long -- and while this is freeing, it also thrusts her into a whirlwind of conflicting emotions when she begins to suspect that God has possibly forsaken her.
In an effort to confront these feelings head-on and without distraction, she makes her way to a nearby park. As she begins to walk along a path in the woods, she proceeds to contemplate her spiritual walk up to this very moment in her life. In the midst of all of this turmoil, she will learn that faith and doubt are mutually inclusive, and that God is not as silent as He seems.
The experience of A Beautiful Silence is one that has helped me to grow in a myriad of ways - as a writer, as a filmmaker, and as a seeker. Brittany Renee Smith is my co-writer and lead actress on this project, and over the course of two years, we have seen this screenplay evolve as we have matured and wrestled with our faith at different times. I've had to go to some scary places emotionally and spiritually, but in doing so, I've become far more grounded than ever before. I've unpacked much of the old ideals that I used to hold in favor of others that place an emphasis on grace and authenticity.
While these themes have been dealt with many times before by other artists, we are merely offering our own unique message. We have abandoned a traditional narrative structure in favor of a more fragmented approach. I wanted the viewer to feel as if he or she was inside the mind of the protagonist, moving seamlessly from one thought to another - but with a common thread that holds everything together, much like the feeling of reading a diary. We're creating a tapestry of words, sounds, and images that will hopefully appeal to the intellect as well as the heart. This is not a "Christian" film. We are dealing with faith, and faith is universal. Being a Christian myself - and not entirely fond of the preachiness that often comes with "Christian" filmmaking - I have set out to make a film that refuses to preach, and also refuses to end things on a safe and tidy note.
I am working with a top-notch crew of carefully selected, incredibly talented individuals whom I love dearly. We have only two more scenes to shoot before this film is wrapped. We've had to make some sacrifices here and there. We've had to lose some shots. We've had to improvise and work with what we have -- but all in all, this has been a highly successful and artistically fulfilling shoot.
I am never completely satisfied with my work. I am my worst critic. I always will be. I think it comes with the territory. However, I hope that there is an audience for this film who will be genuinely moved and touched by it. I can't wait to unleash it upon the world!
On this day, I am thankful and blessed. More to come!
